This has been a lovely time of self-reflection, and of trying to re-direct all the energy that I give Facebook to more meaningful pursuits, such as my children. They are sweet, sweet souls! Dominic is 5 years old today, and Lillian turned 2 at the end of February. "The days are long but the years are short" has not always been true in this house, but today it is. I cannot believe how the time has moved. Dominic's birth was the only one where I had a totally natural labor....but it ended in a nightmarish c-section. What a scary, scary time. Thank God we have this sweet boy today, because we nearly didn't! He had a birthday party yesterday with his closest buddies, and had such a great time. It is so fun watching him grow, and see him growing in these relationships with these other sweet boys. I am so thankful for the friends in my life, and for their beautiful families - I am constantly inspired by my amazing mama friends - their examples encourage me to struggle through the difficulties in my own life so I can be a better mom and wife.
I haven't gotten to all the things I wanted to for this Lent, but just being off of Facebook has been such a gift! It's like all the windows for my heart, mind and soul have been opened, airing out all the yuckies! Lol. I have had to do some very deep reflecting about relationships I have with people - both friends and family. It's been made more and more apparent to me that, no matter the connection to a person, if they are toxic to me in any way, I just have to walk away. Sometimes it's hard to think that's okay - but I know that if I truly want the best for them, and pray for their peace and happiness, it's okay for me to not have a "relationship" with them. I am easily worked up and influenced by the attitude of others, and walking away is what's healthiest for me in these situations. On Facebook I posted a while ago that I'm not as warm and fuzzy as some people think I am. This is definitely true. If someone irritates me too much, I will not seek them out. I will never try and see them or even talk with them again. Many people think they can behave a certain way to others and it's okay because that's just how they are, and people need to accept it, or, it's okay to treat someone poorly because they'll always be there. Well, if that's how you are, bully for you - but I'm not sticking around! Lol. There are some people who have exasperated me beyond repair. By that, I mean that whenever I see or hear their name, or even just think of them, peaceful thoughts do not fill my mind. So, I'm moving on. It'll be better for all of us, in the end. Especially if I am the one who is a bad influence - sometimes just anything I say will cause people to lash out, argue just because they can, be rude, condescending, etc. I know and love many people who disagree with my opinions and values, but we continue to be respectful to each other, no matter how vast our differences. Often, argument for the sake of argument is just not helpful, or healthy, or necessary. And in fact, it can just be damaging. Facebook has, unfortunately (or maybe fortunately?), taught me that.
Many things have happened to us throughout our marriage, and I'm thankful we've had this Lent where I've not been cut open for some reason or other! ;) It's been a while since it's been such an uneventful spring. It's allowed me more time to focus on mending myself spiritually and mentally. I have a long way to go, but I'm on the road, now. After this Facebook hiatus, I'm hoping it will be easier to just use FB to share pictures of my children, and keep in contact with people I care about, and who truly *care* about me. It's certainly not the place to change minds...at least, that's what I've seen about the issues that are important to me. Even when I've toned it down and not been inflammatory - just tried to share information - it's gotten ugly. The best thing, then, is to just stop that. My husband is so good about not caring about things like that. He's un-phased, unemotional. He's amazing! Haha. I look up to him, especially in this area! ;) Unfortunately, I'm a pepper pot....so moderation is sometimes too much, even. :P Peace to you all - I hope you've been enjoying the spring weather, and having a fruitful Lent, too.